non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
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Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
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Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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