I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
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Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
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