at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize