Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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