I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize