so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She needs sedatives and a leash
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize