Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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