She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
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Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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