well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
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I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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