1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
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we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
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I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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