I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Dear god my vagina.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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