I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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