i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
how does that bad decision feel?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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