i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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