ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize