Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
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We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
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Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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