my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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