and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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