We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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