sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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