my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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