bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize