Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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