Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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