We won't sleep together?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize