We're facebook friends in real life
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Houston, we have a squirter
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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