hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have fence marks all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize