How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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