Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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