I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize