I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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