I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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