oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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