dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize