dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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