so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
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Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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