i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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