I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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