The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize