just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
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regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
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Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You left your phone here
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