I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
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I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
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Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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