She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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