weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
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somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
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I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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