Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
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i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
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Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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