yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
please don't ironically join a cult
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