We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
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It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
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I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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