good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
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I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
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You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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