Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize