So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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