So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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